Loops bar

There is a problem. The problem is we go climbing. That in itself isn't a problem, it's the solution. The real problem is eating, sleeping and work. Say i leave work at 17:30 (optimistic). The earliest we actually get there is 18:00, and so the earliest we start climbing would be 18:15. The warm-up would end at 18:45 (At least two long routes or 4 short routes each, plus tying in each time), and then we want at least 2.5 hours of climbing, plus half an hour of cool down. that's 9:45 already, plus stretching we get to 22:00, packing 22:15, back home by 22:45 the earliest, and that's if we don't need to get groceries and stuff.
We are already quite quick in the kitchen, so say the salad (and eggs and toast be ready by 23:00). We finish eating by 23:30, then clean up the dishes, and ourselves, no way we get to bed before midnight, and dinner is still being digested of course. If you think i can wake up before 21:30 after all this, think again.

To mitigate the situation, we climb early on Sunday, and climb Friday night (Side note - If you think I'm not abruptly awoken Saturday morning to go to beat the crowds at Bread's bakery and the Farmer's market, think again). This still leaves weeknight of climbing.
The hypothetical solutions one might consider, in decreasing order or plausibility:

1. Move by the climbing wall.
2. Sleep less.
3. Go to bed without eating.
4. Hijack a helicopter home.
5. Obtain a hover-board that can go over the east river.
6. Climb twice a week instead of three.

The problem with moving by the gym is that we already live by work and Uni, so this would simply shift the commute instead of reducing it.
The problem with sleeping less or going to bed without eating (or skipping the cool down, for that matter) is that this would have an adverse effect on our ability to climb well three times a week, and function properly at work.
No. 4 is downright silly, and from there it's straight downhill.

Solution 1.0 Protein-Energy bar.
I've heard different theories on this, and my biology knowledge is not great, but there is a pretty large consensus saying that eating right after climbing (I've heard anything from 15 minutes to 2 hours, see This post for example), preferably something with a lot of carbs and some protein, is the most effective way to help your muscles restore their energy store. I have no proof, but personally i feel disproportionately hungrier later on if i miss the post climbing snack).
But what can we eat at the climbing wall? Long lasting, weather resistant energy bars.
I'm not talking about those ridiculous "Energy bars" that supposedly keep you skinny. These down right lie, either in name or in trait. Our energy bars carry their calories proudly. The simpler the sugar, the better. Immediately after climbing (and throughout it too) we munch on energy bars. The Protein is an added bonus, as our average meat and dairy intake is low.
Looking for protein bar recipes, none caught my fancy. Adding sweeteners loses my trust, as it suggests the recipe is directed at people trying to lost weight, in which case i feel the author is misleading their audience, suggesting eating peanut butter bars will help you lose weight. "Gluten free" loses it because of course it's gluten free, so what? Finally peanut butter loses because eating peanut butter bars 3 times a week is crazy.

The philosophy behind this recipe is that after-climbing bars are an opportunity to eat really tasty sweet stuff, in other words, Chocolate! The protein came mostly from the Whey powder, and the rest is basically reconstructed granola. It took some experimentation to get the bars to stay solid, but not too sticky.

Loopsoise's After-Climbing bars:

(Loops bars for short)

Nuts, Oats, Mixed

Ingredients:

Dry mixture:

• 250g of your favorite mixture of nuts. i did 50g each of:
• Almonds, Pecan, Hazelnuts, Walnuts,
• 400g oats
• 100g buckwheat groats.

Granola sauce:

• 1 cup Maple syrup
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1 Tbsp cocoa
• 10 Tbsp olive oil (I often add more)
• 2 Tbsp water
  

Emulsifier:

• 150g whey powder
• 1/2 cup liquids (water or oatmilk or something like that)
• 200g melted dark chocolate (nuked or Bain-Marie)

Hardware:

• Food processor
• Mixer
• Oven
• Stove
• Large mixing bowls
• Small pots
• Rolling pin and surface

Instructions:

Before you do anything else - set the oven to 150C.

Nuts

Oats n' Groats

Dry ingredients:

The idea is to roast the nuts, roast the oats-groats, grind each to a powder, and then mix them. 

The reason to roast and grind the oats and nuts separately is to not overwhelm your food processor. If your food processor isn't a beast, consider grinding in smaller batches.

Save time by roasting the nuts, then grinding them while roasting the oats.

Whey, Chocolate

Granola sauce:

Add all the sauce ingredients to a small pot, stir over low heat until the sauce gets warm.

Emulsifier:

Melt the chocolate, either using a microwave or with Bain Marie (easier- Put a small pot with a few inches of water on medium heat, cover. when it boils, replace the cover with a bowl of chocolate, and reduce the heat to low. simply wait and it'll melt. Mixing isn't crucial but is really fun).

Add the whey powder and liquids to the melted chocolate, stir.

Once you have both both sauces, save about 1/4 cup of the granola sauce for later, and mix the rest with the Whey-Chocolate

Base:

Take the 1/4 cup of granola sauce and mix it with  150-200G of the nuts-oats mixture. Place the wet oats on your tray or parchment paper, and flatten using a roller pin.

Base, cement, together

Cement:

Put the everything sauce in a mixing bowl (if you have a mixer, better), and start mixing at low speed.

Slowly add the remainder of  your roasted-grounded nuts-oats-groats mixture. If it gets too stiff - add some liquids (water or oil). Make sure to stop once in a while and scrape the bottom, otherwise it'll really stick. Once you've mixed the whole thing, spread it on the base.

Baking:

Bake for 15-20 minutes at 150C.

Allow to cool, and then cut up into nicely shaped bars. Wrap in aluminum foil and store in freezer. 

The bars will usually be a bit stiff when frozen - we take them out of the freezer in the morning, and eat them in the evening, and they are nice by then.

Optional - Add cookie crumbs to the top of cement.

Loopsoise After-Climbing bar

Side note - Sift your walnuts.

Sifting your walnuts will get rid of that awful flaky bitter powder they come wrapped in. It'll make'em look shiny (see picture), and it's extremely satisfying. A mesh strainer (See picture) covered with a similar sized bowl is ideal - shake'em and watch the powdery evilness drift away.